Kitchen table tennis

In the Wikipedia internet encyclopedia there is a great deal of information on the history of table tennis, but I have not yet found the name of the man responsible for these dimensions.  Perhaps someone who knows will reveal the secret of this fascinating mystery to me.

What has, though, become clear to me that a table tennis table does not necessarily have to be 254 centimetres long and 152.5 centimetres wide. We manage perfectly well at home with the kitchen table, just over 1 metre wide and just under 40 cm long. Without a net..

The  variation born of necessity (see the column on The Heemskerk on this site) is to some extent comparable with the iPONG recently introduced into the world of table tennis.  

I must say that kitchen table tennis is proving to be a new, addictive phenomenon. The rules are simple: services must bounce twice, returns once, anywhere on the table. The obstacles in the immediate vicinity are numerous but challenging. Think of the china cupboard and bar stools. On various occasions the light flammable celluloid ball, that threatened to land on a live burner following a devastating smash, caused the cook to panic, but a fire extinguisher is never far away and the fire insurance is in order.....

And even the kitchen princess cannot suppress a smile when the ball, following a helter-skelter journey via kitchen cupboards and the coffee machine, comes to a halt in the pan of tomato soup…

Even with the burners off it gets quite heated, with my son less than a metre away as my opponent. Balls are ‘plucked’ from the floor to the accompaniment of primeval shrieks, and the ‘tjo’s‘ after a splendid point can be heard far up the street.

The kitchen window with dimensions of around 274 centimetres wide and at least 152.5 cm high turns our unorthodox ping pong arena into a glass cage, causing passing neighbours to stop briefly and peer in with admiration bordering on disbelief before continuing on their way, shaking their heads.

Yes, I know. We’re the laughing stock of the neighbourhood, but we’ve long since got over any feelings of shame we may have had. Kitchen table tennis is better than ludo!

Edwin Alblas